Is it okay to hug a guy? What is appropriate in the physical side of the relationship?
Meggie: Its important that we protect the guys in our lives as much as we protect our own hearts. For me, the hardest thing that I have had to face with my guy friends is, to keep physical touch to the bare minimum. I found this hard because my love language is physical touch. The way I show people I appreciate them, is I will give them a hug. But even though guys in my life are 'friends' we need to be aware of what touching the opposite sex does to ours and their minds! A lady told us that a hug, or a touch from the opposite sex actually sets off hormones and emotions in our physical bodies. It arouses and awakens physical emotions in our bodies, whether we think we have control over them or not. It is how we were made! So, even though I love my guy friends, I have to be watchful over the physical contact I have with them.
"Promise me, O women of Jerusalem,
by the gazelles and wild deer,
not to awaken love until the time is right."
- Song of Songs 2:7
Don't awaken those feelings or emotions until its the right time!
Taleisha: Yes it's okay to hug a guy, but we need to be aware of what physical contact does to both males and females, and like Meggie said, protect our hearts. In regard to what's appropriate and what's not, personally I think a hug is okay but keep it short and sweet. I hug my guy friends if I haven't seen them in a long time as a greeting or when I leave them knowing it will be a while until I see them again. Keeping physical contact to a bare minimum is wise. There is no need to put yourselves in the kind of situation where there is a misunderstanding on one part. A simple hug that goes for too long, or hugging for no specific reason, can stimulate all kind of hormones in both sexes. It can become dangerous and lead to impure thoughts and fantasies about what it would be like to be with the other person, lead to temptations and can even seriously damage a relationship. Be wise in your actions! We need to respect them as much as we would anyone else.
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality,
or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper
for God’s holy people.”
- Ephesians 5:3
If you haven't already, have a read of this article by Gabrielle Pickle called 'We're Not A Couple, We're not Family, We're Friends': http://unlockingfemininity.com/2011/11/16/were-not-a-couple-were-not-family-were-friends/ . It covers the topic of having guy friends very clearly and thoroughly from a Biblical point of view. It's a great read!
We hope this was helpful! If you find yourself in a situation where you're not sure what to do, seek God's wisdom and guidance, pray and trust :)
On Thursday we will be posting Loving God, the last topic in the Love Series.
~ Taleisha and Meggie