Have you every struggled with keeping your relationships with guys healthy? How about being friends with a guy and nothing more? Today Meggie and I give our advice on some common struggles we can face when it comes to having male friends.
It can be hard having close guy friends because others see your friendship as being flirty! How do I make sure I'm being friendly, not flirty?
Taleisha: There is definitely a fine line between friendly and flirty. It can be really tough. Unfortunately there is no correct answer as to what the line between the two is. Some people see certain things as flirting while others don't. It would come down to your personal conviction and what you see as an appropriate way to act with a guy. Relationships can look very different to different people. Pray about your relationships and that God will give you the wisdom and discernment that you need to have a healthy friendship with your male friends. Act how you would if your mother, or Jesus, were standing in the room. Treat them as a Brother in Christ and respect them.
Meggie: In my guy friendships, I find that I have to look at my motives. Was I really just having fun with him, or do my comments mean something more? Why are you saying the things you are to your guy friends? Prayerfully have a look at your motives. Flirting is going to make you feel different than if you are just joking around.
Is it okay for your best friend to be a guy?
Taleisha: This is tricky. I am leaning towards a no, simply because it can cause problems and temptations. It can work for some people but I personally believe that if you want to eliminate temptations and be God honouring then it is wisest not to have a guy as your closest friend that you tell everything to and do everything with. Gabrielle Pickle explains this very well in her article about relationships with the opposite sex:
"... Applying the “like a brother” label (while it may be true that we currently have brotherly affection for him now) often tempts us to operate outside the boundaries of accountability. I mean, why would a person need accountability for a relationship with someone who is like a brother? Well, because he isn’t your brother and you want to honor God with your life. I have seen many girls fall into sinful relationships with guys who are like their brother, because they viewed those relationships as “safe” and “above temptation” for emotional, physical and spiritual affairs (Ephesians 5:3, Hebrews 13:4 ).
Baring your heart and soul to a guy friend is not honoring and respecting our future husband or marriage. Having an emotional affair with a best guy friend to meet the needs that only God should meet during singleness does not make room for God to bring along your future husband. Even friendships with a guy who is ‘like a brother’ should be checked regularly within accountability."
To access the full article go to: http://unlockingfemininity.com/2011/11/16/were-not-a-couple-were-not-family-were-friends/. It's a fantastic article, it covers all the areas and comes from a very Biblical point of view. I highly recommend it!
Meggie: I agree with Taleisha. Having friends of the same sex matters a lot! It's fine to have girl and guy friends but I don't know where I would be without my best girlfriends. Guys are great fun but the relationship is different. Guys aren't necessarily going to understand you like a girlfriend would. Relationships with our Sisters In Christ are special.
If there are questions you have about friendships with guys then send us an email at: unfadingelegance(at)gmail(dot)com or comment below. On Monday we will be continuing Loving Guys and we would love to help and give any advice, Bible verses and articles where we can :)
Stay tuned for Loving Guys - Part Two on Monday!!
God bless you all!
~ Taleisha and Meggie