What do you think when you see many young adults around you partaking in godly relationships, finding their life partners and falling in love, for real?
I feel lonely.
I am single, and seventeen with no prospective husband or boyfriends on the horizon. I have few guy friendships, and most of them are shallow.
I feel discouraged. I am doing all this waiting, keeping my heart for my future husband, while the world is continually shouting at me: Give it up! You can have all that right now! Why wait?
Give me a break.
I dont know anyone who has actually felt anything for me. No boy has ever confessed to me that he wants to start a relationship. Not once.
I am only seventeen. I am only young. I have many years in the future to look forward to. Thats what I keep telling myself.
How do you get courage when you are discouared? How do you keep pushing on when you are tired, and your knees are about to give out underneath you?
In our unmarried years, we are to be especially devoted to the Lords work, but all I can think about is that I do not have a guy who will hold my hand.
Each day is a journey. Dont beat yourself up because your not perfect. God loves you the way you are, but He wont leave it there. He is going to change you into the person you wish you were.
I will try again tomorrow, Lord willing.
~ Meggie
I am eighteen- and also an unmarried daughter. Keep your courage up! I recently thought of something. Perhaps the reason why God seems to be letting some girls who are striving to be Godly young Women stay single longer is to prove to the watching world that a Christian girl's single years can be just as rich, just as fruitful, just as joyful as her married years. The world thinks that single girls are in limbo- life has not started yet, and the only way that changes, they think, is if she chases guys.
ReplyDeleteWe, unmarried but content and fruitful single ladies, toss that idea in the trash! I hope to marry- I certainly do. I take great hope from the story of Genevieve and Pete. You can read it at Issacharian.com. Click on "daughters"- it is a newsletter that she wrote for girls before she married. Their courtship story is in it. Please do go there and read it- she is one of my main examples of fruitful singleness. She now has four babies and is married to a very Godly man, who God was shaping to be perfect for her! Blessings in Christ!
The above comment is wonderful, just gonna throw that out there.
ReplyDeleteTo kinda go along with that...I've been discouraged some, as well, but what has helped me is remembering that marriage is just a picture of what our relationship with Jesus should be like. I have to find my identity in Him first, or a relationship with a guy won't be what it should. When I find myself plagued with discouraging thoughts, I pick up the greatest Love Letter ever written and sometimes a devotional book and just study. Shifts my focus back to Jesus, and it helps sososo much.
Blessings, Meggie!
Both these comments are so good! That's just what I believe. Jesus is so fulfilling! All earthly relationships will come to a end, but Jesus will love us and be with us forever. Just throw yourself on Him and He will satisfy your every longing, meet, supply your every need. "No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11
ReplyDeleteIf God does not give you or I a husband that means a husband for us would not be a good thing.
I have to remind my self of these things so often, I hope they help you!
Blessings dear friend!
Payton
You said it better than I did, Meggie! So True! If Jesus fills us now, we will be able to really further God's Kingdom when He unites us with a man who is filled with Jesus.
ReplyDeleteAnd you said it too, Payton! We need to trust that God will give us what is good for us, us specifically, because He has loved us since before the foundation of the world. That is it!
ReplyDeleteI'm 19 and have learned that secret of contented singleness is really trusting the Lord with all your heart. I thought the same things too. Don't get discouraged. You're only 17! Most people get married after 25 these days, so you have plenty of time to learn to love the Lord, embrace singleness, and just rest in Him. Don't despair!
ReplyDeleteDon't read books about relationships or courtship or romance, even if they are Christian books. I find my desires spring up when reading the even the helpful or innocent ones.
God is sovereign, he will provide what you need for today. And today, be the best daughter, the best single woman, the best obedient-contented-joyful woman you can be.
Hugs and blessings!
Lauralea
So true Lauralea!
ReplyDeleteAvoid anything that stirs romance in you. I have to say, that for me, the best book I have ever read that has helped me avoid romantic thoughts was It's Not That Complicated, by the Botkin sisters. It is a book more about us and God than us and young men- because it places them in their proper non-romantic place. As Brothers, in ALL purity. This book is excellent.
Do look this book up!
I'm praying for you Meggie!
ReplyDeleteYour sister in Christ,
Moriah
Hey Girls :)
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to write down the thoughts we think when we have those dark nights of longing, when nothing seems to help.
FoundAChristianBlog - Thankyou, I will go look up that newsletter, we all need to see what a fulfilled single life looks like to be able to live one.
A Daughter of the King - Focusing on Jesus is so important, I know. I was tempted with terribel thoughts yesterday, and I wondered, what on earth I could do about it. This morning I have read my Bible and really drawn closer to God, and that has pushed all of those sins behind me for a fresh start and a fresh desire for Christ above all else. Praise His name!
Payton - I have to say, amazing. A Christian lady emailed me last week with a verse for me, and that verse keeps cropping up in sermons, blogging etc. And that is 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding'. The word for lean refers to rest, throwing yourself on Christ.
'Just throw yourself on Him and He will satisfy your every longing, meet, supply your every need' - amazing.
Lauralea - I was always baffled as to why I shouldnt read even Christian romances when I am feeling this way, it seems backward, so I started watching when the feelings would come, and they always got deeper and more uncontrollable after reading such books. Crazy! :)
Moriah - Thankyou. We all need prayer so badly. :)
Blessings from the Most High,
Meggie
Hello Girls!
ReplyDeleteI smiled as I read this post and everyone’s comments. Smiled because I am twenty-two, unmarried. Smiled because I have seven sisters aged 30, 25, 20, 13, 10, 7, and 3, and all the “eligible” ones unmarried with no prospects. I am not "overly eager" to get married (though I am looking forward to the day that the Lord allows me to marry), but some of my sisters would love to have home and family of their own. How do we do it? How do we live without distressing ourselves? How do we smile still? How do we keep from falling into bitterness? And: WHY DO WE STILL STICK TO THIS WHOLE WAITING ORDEAL?
Before I answer some of those questions, I thank the Lord for giving us His Word to guide us. I thank my parents for teaching us in God’s ways and helping us in more ways than we know. And, I thank my older sisters, who have been a wonderful example to me. These three factors have given me material with which I can write this comment.
1) Marriage is NOT the end-all. In fact, marriage should not even be our goal! I can think of Scriptures that say marriage is blessedness and given from God, but none that say marriage is our goal (if you find any, please share them with me!). Why do I say this? We are complete in Christ, satisfied in Christ, and completely fulfilled in Christ – not a husband (“For in Him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are complete in Him, which is the head of all principality and power:” Colossians 2:9-10 – “Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing.” Psalm 145:16). From this, I gain that Christ should be our goal.
2) We are to focus on “delighting in God” – not gaining the desires of our heart. (“Delight thyself also in the LORD; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.” Psalm 37:4-5)
3) We are not to gage our current happiness with what we do or do not have compared to others. In fact, that is foolishness. (“For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” 2 Corinthians 10:12)
4) We are to carefully guard our thoughts and cast out any impure thoughts that are contrary to God’s ways and His character. (“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.” 2 Corinthians 10:5-6)
5) God has a very special calling for us while we are single. As an unmarried woman, we are to saturate ourselves with God’s Word and fully absorb our lives in Him. (“There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:34)
I can say nothing to help other girls learn to be happily content, but God’s Word holds all of the answers! Perhaps when we single girls are tempted to get too discouraged over our odds, we should dive into God’s Word and spend time in that – not our thoughts, dreams, and worries.
God bless!
Amanda
www.withajoyfulnoise.blogspot.com
A few books you might enjoy:
“Singled Out for Him” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
“Lady in Waiting” by Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones
“Before You Meet Prince Charming” by Sarah Malley
Wow, Amanda. Thanks :)
DeleteI think I personally have been getting a little tied up in the thought 'I believe I am going to get married one day, so waiting seems so hard', and it has become the end in all.
Blessings,
Meggie
Meggie, I really love this post. I am 23 and unmarried but God has blessed me with an amazing man to court (date with purpose). When you focus on God and be obedient to Him he will provide you with what you need. Take this time to grow so close to God that in order for a guy to find your heart he has to seek God. Fall in love with Christ because he is the only one that can fill the voids we need.
ReplyDeleteMeggie, I was looking for an email to contact you. We have a blog as well and would to feature you. Email us if you are interested. (boydsisters12@gmail.com) Check out our blog if you like: http://theboydsisters.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteHi Boyd Sisters! I am so sorry that we missed your comment! Meggie and I write this blog together so I will pass on your comments and we will get back to you! We have recently created an email address. You can contact us directly on unfadingelegance@gmail.com. We hope to hear from you!
DeleteGod bless!
Taleisha.