Loving Your Family

Loving the people that God has given us in our families is super difficult. We spend the most time with them, and because of that, we usually see the worst in them. They're blood, they're family; but they are sometimes the hardest to love.

But, if you call yourself a Christian, its very clear in the Bible that we are called to love- in every area of our lives.

Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.  And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. - 1 John 4:20-21 NIV

Why put in the work to love your family? Because, God has called us to do it!

Then the question is- how? How and what do I do to love my family?
I wish it was as easy as sitting back and going, yep, I love you. I love you a lot. But real love, like we looked at in the first Love Series post, real love does things. Love gets up off the couch and serves the people it loves!

So here are some things I have found really helpful when I have tried to better my relationships with my family.

1. Talk to your parents
Ouch. I remember a couple of years a go, I had something going on that I knew I had to talk about with Mum. I knew it was the right thing to tell her, and that I had to. But it took me a few weeks of plucking up the courage before I could even say one sentence. But I know the more I tell Mum about my troubles, my walk with God, friends and other things, the more I grow closer to her and show her I love her. Share life with your parents. Let them know how your feeling, what your doing, where your going, and everything that goes with it all!

2. Be quick to say sorry
All the fights I have had with my sisters has always boiled down to one thing, who was first to say sorry. As soon as one of us decided that the argument just wasn't worth it, and said sorry, we would all feel bad and immediately forgive and forget. My youngest sister and I are extremely alike. We have the same ideas and the same sort of attitude, so we have a lot of arguments about very little things. When I say sorry, I am not saying I agree with her, but I am saying sorry for not listening to her point of view, and being stupid with how I talk to her. You can forgive and still disagree.
Forgiveness shuts down every fight and argument.

and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. - Matthew 6:12 NLT

3. Spend time and have fun with them.
When my family starts getting on my nerves, I noticed that when I spend time with them, doing some fun, just to have fun, it helps a real lot. I am not sure why, or how this exactly works. But if I decided to make some time to play a board game with my sister, and have fun with it, its so much easier to get along after it. When I joke around with my Dad and we just have fun, I find it easier to talk to him about stuff.
Make some time to unselfishly spend some time with your family 'just because'. And don't do things that maybe you want to do, but bless them and do the things they want to do. Go and give your dad a hand with some yard work. Go hang the washing with your Mum. Play a game or watch a movie with your brothers and sister.

So, those are three things that have really helped me get closer to my family and truly love them with my actions. At the end of the day, loving your family is really difficult. At the end of the day its your choice. You have to make it happen. You can either be best friends or arch enemies with your brothers and sisters. But if you work each day at it, you will have friends who will love and support you for life.

What sort of daughter and sister will you be?

~ Meggie

 

This was the third post in the Love Series, stay tuned our next post by Taleisha comes out on Thursday!

Loving Yourself

It's easy to fall into the trap of not loving yourself. For some reason it's easier to love others. Well do I have news for you! Loving yourself is equally important as loving others. I'm not talking about an obsessive love. Yeah when you first hear it it sounds like a proud person that values themselves more than others. I simply mean a respectful love. Here are some reasons why we should love ourselves:

1. God made us in His image! 
Genesis 1:26 says "Then let us make man in our image, according to our likeness..." This is the best reason there is. Loving ourselves is a good thing as long as you keep it a healthy love. We are made in God's image. If we don't love ourselves, then we're not loving God.

2. Loving ourselves allows us to love others better. 
Romans 13:9 - "... and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, "You shall love your neighbour as yourself." If you are lacking love for yourself, then how can you truthfully tell someone they're special? Loving yourselves helps you to better love others. Personally, I believe that if you love yourself (are happy with who you are) you have more love to share around. You can honestly tell others about their worth without falling into self-pity. Take some of your own medicine when it comes to telling others how beautiful and important they are. If you believe it you can show it, and people will see it :)

3. We are fearfully and wonderfully made! 
Psalm 139:14 - "I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well." God made you who you are for a reason. David wasn't boasting who he was, he was simply being thankful and rejoicing over the beautiful creation that God made in him. Be thankful for who you are and rejoice in it!

4. We are children of God!!
1 John 3:1 says, "Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!" I think anyone would agree with me when I say this is pretty cool! God is our Father and we are His children! It's true and it's a truth we should hold on to. Each one of us royalty, we're princesses. WE. ARE. SPECIAL. This doesn't make us any better than other people and the last thing I want is for my point to get taken the wrong way. We are all equal, and we should rejoice in the fact because we are ALL daughters of the King of Kings!! (Ephesians 2:10)

Yes it can be super difficult sometimes, But let me encourage you with one more thing. God doesn't make mistakes. He made you the way you are for a reason, strengths, weaknesses, talents, likes and dislikes. Don't second guess yourself, embrace it!! He has plans for you and He needs you the way He made you.

"Loving yourself doesn't mean being stuck-up or boastful, it's the concept of being thankful and appreciating the person who God has made in you" - Great Bible Study  

And I'll leave you with this fantastic quote by the very wise Dr Suess :)

Be proud of who you are. May God bless and be with all of you princesses!

~ Taleisha

The Love Series!

We have something wonderful to announce! We are going to be doing a series on Love for then next month or so! We will be covering different topics such as loving friends, guys, family, God, our enemies and much more. :)

I want to start this series off by ripping apart some myths about real, healthy love. Three things that the world tells us is love, but things that are only fake substitutes to makes us feel good, but in the end, only leave us feeling worse off than before. I am basing this off 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter of the Bible.

...If I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing... Love is not jealous... or rude... [Love] does not demand its own way. It is not irritable...Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. - 1 Corinthians 13:2b;4-5a;7 Paraphrased

Myth 1
Love is a feeling, an emotion. Something you feel when someone special walks into the room.

Love isn't just a feeling. Love is also an action, and a choice. Feelings come out of our hearts when we love others, but the feeling themselves aren't just what love is. In 1 Corinthians 13, we see that love is also an action. Love is faithful, gentle, kind, unselfish and faithful. Love is... mostly actions. Yes you feel love, but you also do love. When you love someone, it shows by how you treat them and what you do for them.

Myth 2
Love fades away after a time. It doesn't last forever. 

Around 50,000 people in Australia have a divorce every year (according to the Australian Institute of Family Studies). More and more people are having first marriages that last for some years, then when differences come up, feelings fade away, people decide that they dont love each other anymore. And that is it, they divorce.



Fading love doesn't just happen in marriage. When we move away from friends, when we graduate from school and find ourselves moving in different circles, all of a sudden we have to work hard to remain friends, and we find out who cares about us (who tries to keep in contact) and who doesn't.
But 1 Corinthians 13 clearly says that real, genuine love lasts forever. Not just your life span. Forever. How is that possible when we see that it doesn't seem to? One of the reasons is that we think love is a feeling, and so when the feelings are gone, we think we do not love that person anymore.
I have had many good, tearful fights with my dad, I will admit it. But even when we disagree on something, even if I say I hate him, I love him. Just because we are going through a tough season where we disagree with each other, I still love him. I still love him a lot. I might feel angry and hateful towards him, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't want him to drop off the face of the earth.
Real love sticks around and works out differences. It doesn't give up.

Myth 3
I want someone to love me for who I am. I want someone who loves me even though I make mistakes. I want...

In different relationships we easily get tied up in what we want. The things we want, aren't bad at all! Its the fact that we want this, we want that- when love is actually about serving others. Love is not selfish. Love is the fact that we give up what we want, so the other person will be happy.
I think of school friendships, when best friends get into quarrels because they don't like how the other person is treating them. They want the other person to do what they want, to talk to them they way they want, to spend time with them the way they want.
Love isn't like this! Love says, I don't want to do this, but I know you do, so we will do it. Love sacrifices herself for others.
She doesn't get caught up in asking the other person to be a better friend, but instead she works so that she will be a better friend for others.

So, love isn't just something we feel, but something that we do. Love works through differences, so that it will last forever; and love doesn't demand its own way, but instead loving is not about you, but about others.

Stay tuned, Taleisha will be posting next about...loving yourself! :D

~ Meggie

THE TIME HAS COME!!!!

Attention all readers and Unfading Elegance lovers!! We are so happy to announce that we now have an email address! The purpose of it is to allow our readers to share opinions, questions or struggles they're facing with Meggie and myself. Then we will pray, think about, research and reference to our readers how to cope and handle the trials they face with the power God's Word gives us through a blog post! We also hope that this will be a way to connect with our readers on a more personal and intimate level. If you have a word you'd like to share, a question to ask (or as many as you need!), a situation you don't know how to handle, a problem you're struggling with, then send us an email at: unfadingelegance(at)gmail(dot)com!!  

We can assure you that ALL confidentiality will be kept. Please also keep in mind that if you're struggling with something, you are not the only young woman to be going through it! Your email could help other readers and followers face the trials they think they're alone in as well. 

We would love to encourage you guys as best we can! So please don't hesitate to tell us what you think about the blog, what you would like to see us do in the future, if there's a topic you'd like us to cover in greater detail or things you would like us to lift up in prayer. We are all sisters in Christ and we are here to listen and help one another. Thank you all for your continuous support! Happy emailing! 

God bless!!
~ Taleisha

He will come through for you!

She stood on the cliffs. The Sun was out shining bathing her with a warm glow, and a breeze was filled with the saltiness of the sea below and sweet scent of flowers. Birds twitted in the trees behind her, the sea gulls called to one another as they fed across the great blue sea. The waves were far far below, and only small humps that bumped into the great cliff. The world was at peace. The world was as it should be.
She felt so happy and content. This was the way life was supposed to be.
But then it changed. The sun was covered by a cloud. She noticed that each wave was becoming larger and larger. The waves grew until they were monstors, coming up from the cliff, and reaching their dark fingers up towards her.
The sky drew darker as the sun set behind the clouds, and the rain started just as the waves had gotten so high that they were now splashing against her, trying with all their strength to push her off that rock and draw her into the dark whirling sea.
She could see no stars. Just darkness.
She could feel no warmth, she felt as cold as a corpse.
Fear crept up her. What if the waves overcame her strength and pulled her from the rock? Was the rock solid enough? Did it have enough strength to keep her there? Would it become slippery and push her feet to the depths?
Her eyes focused on each wave. She could see them rolling in the distance. As they came closer they became bigger, and with each wave she thought she would be tossed into the sea. The wave would come and almost pull her down. The rock became slippery. Each wave rolled towards her, filling her with fear. Then it would break upon her, and bring her closer and closer to the edge.
But it was never to much for her. The rock stayed solid and strong. And when she realized that she was not going to be washed off, that the rock was unmoved through it all, her fears slowly pulled away. No matter the waves, the rock would stay firm.
When she thought the waves were to big, to strong, she would concentrate on her only hope;the rock was strong. The rock would not let her go. The rock would not give her up.
When morning finally came, she was worn through. She slumped down and lay there, without one more ounce of strength in her body. The sun dried her clothes and warmed her heart. The clear blue skies gave her courage, and the waves once again abated, only tiny lumps far below her.
The rock would not move. When night came again, she would be alright. Though the waves be high, she would not be moved.

God is not about to give up on you. He will stay firm through every storm in your life. When you concentrate on what might happen, what could happen, you might think that you have no chance. That the troubles are to big and to much for you.
Don't give up! Concentrate on Jesus. He will never let you go. He has the strength to get you through this. His love never ever fails.
Friends might hurt you; family might leave you; but God never will. Hold onto that through the storm. The morning will come at the end. It will get better. And God will never leave you or forsake you. He will come through for you!

“Sometimes God calms the storm, but sometimes God lets the storm rage and calms His child.”

― Leslie Gould

 

~ Meggie

Perfect Love Casts Out Fear - 1 John 4:18

My family devotion this morning was a lovely little article that I just had to share from :)
The Word For Today

     Are you trying your best to serve the Lord, yet you sometimes doubt your salvation? Though you are unaware of any particular sin in your life, you still feel unworthy to stand in God's presence, confident of His acceptance. Read this Scripture. Better yet, write it down and carry it with you: 'Perfect love casts out fear.' Now, if God loved you with an imperfect love you'd have cause to worry. man's love, which is imperfect, keeps a list of sins and consults it often. But not God's love! The moment you place your trust in Christ He views you as 'righteous' and fully accepted from that point on. His love casts out your fear because it casts out your sin. Do you remember these words from Jon's epistle? 'If our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.' (1 John 3:20 NKJV) That means it's possible to be forgiven, yet feel unforgiven. So when you feel unforgiven, doubt your feelings instead of doubting God. Don't give your emotions a vote. Go back to Scripture. God's Word outranks all self-criticism and self-doubt. As Paul told Titus: 'The grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people... You must teach these things... You have the authority.' (Titus 2:11-15 NLT) Are you trusting in Christ as your Saviour? Then begin to live boldly and robustly. Nothing fosters courage like a clear grasp of grace. 'If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.' (1 John 1:9 NKJV) Note the words, 'All unrighteousness.' Having received God's forgiveness, live forgiven! 

God bless!
~ Taleisha 

What are you thinking?

Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. - Romans 8: 5-6 NLT

I was having trouble. I was thinking rubbish. Everything in my head was stupid, stupid scenes, ugly, sinful thoughts, images I wish I had never seen, and conversations that didnt mean anything at all. My mind had become a real dump. My life dumped all the rubbish of the day in my mind and let it sit there and go off. It stunk. It affected my walk with God. I thought about what I felt like, I didnt put any barriers up but constantly let my mind go from subject to subject as it wished.

But I found, that as I let my mind have control over what it wanted to think, that the Spirit lost its power in me. I let my sinful nature do what it wanted. I didnt meditate on the bible in my spare moments. I forgot to pray.

What do you spend your spare moments thinking about? If you are waiting in line at the grocery store, where do your thoughts go? What do you think about?

I had to clean the rubbish out and get back to God. It affected all of me, how I talked, my actions, my heart. Because, in a way, everything comes from whats inside of us. I had to put up barriers. No, I would use my time wisely and pray in my spare moments. I would meditate on this mornings scripture.

I encourage you girls, have a look at what you are thinking about. Be purposeful, and dont let your sinful nature have control of your mind, clean out the rubbish and use every moment you can for Him, because when you dont, sin gets in the way between us and God.

~ Meggie