I want to start this series off by ripping apart some myths about real, healthy love. Three things that the world tells us is love, but things that are only fake substitutes to makes us feel good, but in the end, only leave us feeling worse off than before. I am basing this off 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter of the Bible.
...If I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing... Love is not jealous... or rude... [Love] does not demand its own way. It is not irritable...Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. - 1 Corinthians 13:2b;4-5a;7 Paraphrased
Love is a feeling, an emotion. Something you feel when someone special walks into the room.
Love isn't just a feeling. Love is also an action, and a choice. Feelings come out of our hearts when we love others, but the feeling themselves aren't just what love is. In 1 Corinthians 13, we see that love is also an action. Love is faithful, gentle, kind, unselfish and faithful. Love is... mostly actions. Yes you feel love, but you also do love. When you love someone, it shows by how you treat them and what you do for them.
Love fades away after a time. It doesn't last forever.
Around 50,000 people in Australia have a divorce every year (according to the Australian Institute of Family Studies). More and more people are having first marriages that last for some years, then when differences come up, feelings fade away, people decide that they dont love each other anymore. And that is it, they divorce.
Fading love doesn't just happen in marriage. When we move away from friends, when we graduate from school and find ourselves moving in different circles, all of a sudden we have to work hard to remain friends, and we find out who cares about us (who tries to keep in contact) and who doesn't.
But 1 Corinthians 13 clearly says that real, genuine love lasts forever. Not just your life span. Forever. How is that possible when we see that it doesn't seem to? One of the reasons is that we think love is a feeling, and so when the feelings are gone, we think we do not love that person anymore.
I have had many good, tearful fights with my dad, I will admit it. But even when we disagree on something, even if I say I hate him, I love him. Just because we are going through a tough season where we disagree with each other, I still love him. I still love him a lot. I might feel angry and hateful towards him, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't want him to drop off the face of the earth.
Real love sticks around and works out differences. It doesn't give up.
I want someone to love me for who I am. I want someone who loves me even though I make mistakes. I want...
In different relationships we easily get tied up in what we want. The things we want, aren't bad at all! Its the fact that we want this, we want that- when love is actually about serving others. Love is not selfish. Love is the fact that we give up what we want, so the other person will be happy.
I think of school friendships, when best friends get into quarrels because they don't like how the other person is treating them. They want the other person to do what they want, to talk to them they way they want, to spend time with them the way they want.
Love isn't like this! Love says, I don't want to do this, but I know you do, so we will do it. Love sacrifices herself for others.
She doesn't get caught up in asking the other person to be a better friend, but instead she works so that she will be a better friend for others.
So, love isn't just something we feel, but something that we do. Love works through differences, so that it will last forever; and love doesn't demand its own way, but instead loving is not about you, but about others.
Stay tuned, Taleisha will be posting next about...loving yourself! :D