1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. - 1 Peter 3:3,4

Monday, August 20, 2012

God Wants You!

I am going to be completely honest, not only because I want to but because I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who is feeling like this. I've been going through a rough patch in my walk with God for about the last month. I don't know what caused it but I just didn't feel excited about God anymore, and to be even more honest, I kind of wish my family would stop talking about Him. I knew that there was nothing wrong with God, and that it was 100 percent to do with me and my heart attitude. It was me who had drifted away, not God. He was still walking right beside me, waiting for me reach out to Him, acknowledge He was there and pour out my heart to Him with everything I was feeling and say I'm sorry. I have been praying at night, when I remember, but I can't help remembering how empty my words were. Did I even mean what I was praying for? Sure I want my friends to be safe and protected, but I wasn't praying sincerely. I knew something had to change, and that change would have to start with me.

While my dad was away for a few days my mum read to us from her devotion book, word4U2day. I really liked the idea that I didn't have to be spending hours by myself praying to God, but that I could start my relationship with Him again in a way I was comfortable. Sometime within the last week I decided to wake up twenty minutes earlier then usual and finally read the small devotion book that Meggie had given me when I visited Australia, word4U2day. So I woke up, and started reading, not just for that day, but for the 15th, 16th and 17th of August as well. And by the time I came out of my room, I was feeling a joy. A joy I had been lacking for a while now. But that seemed to only last a day because the weekend came.

My alarm went off this morning at 7:30am, but instead of getting up I turned it off and went back to sleep. Then I was woken up for our regular family devotions at 8am. We were reading in the second chapter in Mark. But afterward my mum picked up her devotion book and read the message for August 20 because we had finished prayer early. And immediately I was glad she did. I have been dealing with something (well a few things) in my life right now that have brought me to a place of asking lots of questions, mainly why. I've been talking to my mum and just cried because I didn't want to see the good in what was happening around me. I was super emotional and having trouble dealing with my situation. The devotion was about offloading what you feel. Yeah, okay, I've done that with my mum. But the devotion went on to talk about offloading to Jesus.

Even though I had chosen not to read my devotions this morning, God found a way to make sure I heard His message to me anyway. It made me smile and even laugh a little because I was just so happy and thankful that He played that little trick with me. I have no doubt that it was God speaking to me saying, "You can try and get rid of me, but I am your Father, I love you and I'm not going anywhere."

I just wanted to share that with you all. Hopefully it was an encouragement to someone out there as much as it was to me. I know there is someone out there who, through reading my little story, had God speak to them or convict them like He did me. Whoever you are and wherever you are, may God bless you and be with you today. I know He wants to be.

"Turning to God isn't about looking for an on/off switch turn off your pain. God gives us strength needed to push on through it, to get closer to the best He has for you...So talk to God, put your confidence in Him and look to Him for all your answers."
                                                                                                         - word4U2day, August 20

~ Taleisha


  1. Amen! That's so good! I've been struggling really hard lately too, it is so good to hear someone being honest about what they feel. I often feel like I can't share my struggles.
    May Christ fill you with joy unspeakable!

  2. Hello Payton,
    God really put this one on my heart yesterday morning and I am so glad that it was able to be an encouragement to someone out there, even if it was only one :) If you feel like you can't share your struggles, perhaps you can try and find an accountability partner. Basically just means someone who you give permission to ask you the personal stuff, someone you're comfortable talking to about basically anything and someone who can lift you up in prayer and keep you in check and accountable for your actions. Meggie and I are accountability partners even though I'm in Cambodia and she's in Australia. Otherwise God is the perfect listener :) Nothing is too big or too small for Him!

    I'll be praying for you this week.
    May God bless you,

  3. I just want to say this made me cry! in a happy, wow kind of way. The part where you wrote about how god was waiting for you to reach out and turn to him, to pour your heart out and say sorry? thats me, i fail so many times to turn to him thinking that he wont listen to me because I have made a mistake or something like that so i try taking things on myself, which i know is silly. This has encouraged me alot. Even funnier.. we have similiar names. Mines Mateisha :) all the way from little New Zealand.

  4. Hey Mateisha,

    I know how you feel. I realized for the first time last week that nothing I do will make me a better Christian, and nothing I ever do will ever strip me of God. I will always be Gods daughter no matter how I am feeling, no matter if I fail Him. It is so freeing isnt it? :)

    Praise God He thought to look down and help us.