God Wants You!

I am going to be completely honest, not only because I want to but because I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who is feeling like this. I've been going through a rough patch in my walk with God for about the last month. I don't know what caused it but I just didn't feel excited about God anymore, and to be even more honest, I kind of wish my family would stop talking about Him. I knew that there was nothing wrong with God, and that it was 100 percent to do with me and my heart attitude. It was me who had drifted away, not God. He was still walking right beside me, waiting for me reach out to Him, acknowledge He was there and pour out my heart to Him with everything I was feeling and say I'm sorry. I have been praying at night, when I remember, but I can't help remembering how empty my words were. Did I even mean what I was praying for? Sure I want my friends to be safe and protected, but I wasn't praying sincerely. I knew something had to change, and that change would have to start with me.

While my dad was away for a few days my mum read to us from her devotion book, word4U2day. I really liked the idea that I didn't have to be spending hours by myself praying to God, but that I could start my relationship with Him again in a way I was comfortable. Sometime within the last week I decided to wake up twenty minutes earlier then usual and finally read the small devotion book that Meggie had given me when I visited Australia, word4U2day. So I woke up, and started reading, not just for that day, but for the 15th, 16th and 17th of August as well. And by the time I came out of my room, I was feeling a joy. A joy I had been lacking for a while now. But that seemed to only last a day because the weekend came.

My alarm went off this morning at 7:30am, but instead of getting up I turned it off and went back to sleep. Then I was woken up for our regular family devotions at 8am. We were reading in the second chapter in Mark. But afterward my mum picked up her devotion book and read the message for August 20 because we had finished prayer early. And immediately I was glad she did. I have been dealing with something (well a few things) in my life right now that have brought me to a place of asking lots of questions, mainly why. I've been talking to my mum and just cried because I didn't want to see the good in what was happening around me. I was super emotional and having trouble dealing with my situation. The devotion was about offloading what you feel. Yeah, okay, I've done that with my mum. But the devotion went on to talk about offloading to Jesus.

Even though I had chosen not to read my devotions this morning, God found a way to make sure I heard His message to me anyway. It made me smile and even laugh a little because I was just so happy and thankful that He played that little trick with me. I have no doubt that it was God speaking to me saying, "You can try and get rid of me, but I am your Father, I love you and I'm not going anywhere."

I just wanted to share that with you all. Hopefully it was an encouragement to someone out there as much as it was to me. I know there is someone out there who, through reading my little story, had God speak to them or convict them like He did me. Whoever you are and wherever you are, may God bless you and be with you today. I know He wants to be.


"Turning to God isn't about looking for an on/off switch turn off your pain. God gives us strength needed to push on through it, to get closer to the best He has for you...So talk to God, put your confidence in Him and look to Him for all your answers."
                                                                                                         - word4U2day, August 20

~ Taleisha